A long day now over, my body rests while my mind will not. Rather than focus on the minute details of the hours before, I transcend upward, beyond the noise in search of quiet rest.
“There’s within my heart a melody, Jesus whispers sweet and low, ‘Fear not I am with thee. Peace, be still, in all of life’s ebb and flow.'”
The sweet melody dances around in my mind, perfectly timed for my need of peace. The line from the song tucked away in my memory seemed to be waiting for the summon I subconsciously gave. My anxieties numbed, my heart afloat, I am at peace.
A peace that passes understanding, sometimes, even my own. I love to use words, to piece them together in such a way as to intrigue the reader but convey a feeling they themselves already possess but cannot explain. And yet, this peace cannot be adequately described with words.
I drift back to youth, lying in a field of soft grass, a cool spring breeze caresses my hair. My eyes are heavy as they watch rolling white clouds drift across a shocking blue sky. There is laughing in the distance, echoed in my heart. The sheets beat in the wind as they hang on the line. The smell of freshly-cut hay drifts through the air so deliciously. There are no cares in the world that I know of: none whatsoever. The screen door creaks, her voice is calling me in, but I cannot go. I am frozen in time, a time when she was there, when she was well.
I am sleeping in the swing at end of day. The heat left with the sun, the air now cool and fresh. I’m sleeping lightly, my head in her lap, listening to happy chatter of loved ones now gone. She twirls my hair absentmindedly in her fingers, chuckling now and again at something he said. I could lay like this forever, where there are no cares, only rest.
I return to the present, saddened but calm. The reality is harsh and cold: she is gone. But I am comforted because she knew Him. She was the virtuous woman reincarnate, and even her memory brings me peace. Someday I shall wing my flight to worlds unknown, and I will see her again. If I close my eyes and dream, I can hear her humming the melody softly once more.
“Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, sweetest name I know. Fills my every longing, keeps me singing as I go.”