I live in a fairy tale world about 50% of the time- at least that’s what my husband says.
I would contend that it’s more like 20% of the time, but that’s neither here nor there. In reality, I am very ambitious. I’m usually teeming with ideas, and I am an habitual self-improver. That’s right. Hello. My name is Mary Lauren, and I can’t stop finding things to improve upon. Please help me.
Some days I feel like a Jack of all trades, master of none. I get all these great ideas (at least, I think they are great), get motivated to set a plan of action….. and then quit. I either become exasperated and quit, or get distracted by something shiny and new and move on. I honestly wish I was one of those people who can set clear goals and pursue them until completion, but in most cases, I’m just not.
Of course, there are several accomplishments I am profoundly proud of in my life, but I never feel as if I’m utilizing my full potential. Maybe this is narcissistic of me, but I always feel as if I could really do something great if I put my mind to it. I have this chronic fear that I could be doing something…something…..monumental, but i’m missing the boat. I think I possess all the materials needed for greatness- but I’m missing the instruction manual.
So what is the blueprint for utilizing one’s fullest potential? How can we, as mere mortals, achieve greatness in all we do?
I’m being a little dramatic. I am in no way interested in being famous. I don’t want to achieve immortality. I just want to use my talents the way God intended for me to use them. I want to look back when I’m old and gray and say, “Wow, what a life. So glad I never held back.” I want my children to have a mother they can be proud of, someone to look up to. I want to make a lasting (positive) impression on everyone possible.
I’ve always felt it would be exhilarating to be a motivational speaker. Cheesy, right? But what kind of motivational speaker would I be if I can’t even complete one project? How can I inspire someone else to achieve their goals if I can’t even stay focused enough to achieve my own?
I recently began reading a book entitled The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. It’s a memoir of her pursuit of happiness, so to speak. It records her endeavors to meet small, tangible goals in order to achieve larger ones. It’s motivated me to start my own project. Not so much in the pursuit of happiness, although I believe self-improvement will bring me some degree of happiness, but more so in the pursuit of overall character improvement. I want to become a better Christian.
The Bible tells us that God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. I want to better myself in multiple realms so that I am better equipped to attain greatness, Spiritual Greatness, that is.
In her book, Rubin creates a chart modeled after Benjamin Franklin’s virtue chart. It’s a way to measure, day in and day out, your moral failures and successes. Having a background in science (the science of nursing, to be exact), I have had the importance of having testable theories ingrained into my very being. Every experiment I do should have something I can measure, something specific. Morality can sometimes be vague, with multiple gray areas, and therefore difficult to improve upon. I am challenging myself to prove otherwise.
In true Ben Franklin style, I am going to choose 13 virtues or moral characteristics to attempt to improve upon. My list is still incomplete, but I know what I want my first virtue to be: willpower. If I don’t improve my willpower, or self discipline as it’s sometimes called, I won’t even make it past this blog.
I could improve myself in so many ways it’s almost embarrassing to document it- but for the sake of improvement, and accountability, I’m willing to suffer a little shame.
I hope to write a blog weekly to document my discoveries and progress (I hope). Whether you are a Christian or not (if not, I will pray for you), I hope you find this project useful, and at the very least, entertaining.